Improvise - Sabotage From Friends or Just a Miscommunication?

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

August 20, 2015

Noticing a time

When others offer comfort food

That upsets the plan

You are on track and that feels really good!  You are eating well, being active, and setting and getting your feedback that the body is responding to all that you are doing ….and likes it!  In fact, you are noticing that the idea that “I enjoy becoming thin” is sounding and feeling true.  In fact, it is guiding you toward a lifestyle success.  What a great makeover is in progress!

And then you notice that others are not having the same response to your new adventure. Your friend  may be eating fat laden foods and offering them to you.  Other friends are with you and yet, they offer advice about becoming too thin and how obsessive you have become.  What’s happening?

No,  your friends have not abandoned you but their subconscious/emotional mind is taking charge.  Remember they are not you and have not been inside your body/mind as you have been shifting thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.  Their connection to you had been based on their past relationship to food and to you.  Now that you have changed a bit, it may take some time for them to adjust and tune into your success.   And they may miss the food connection that you had in the past.

There is an interesting article by Colleen Pierre in Prevention called Dieting With The Enemy:  Are friends and family making you fat.  The website is http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/weight-loss-sabotage-friends-and-family. 

Consider that being on the journey to joyful living the way you wish is the real prize!  Remember that love in the connection; not food.

By communicating honestly and kindly, others can enjoy your joy as well.  Next week I’ll discuss the work of Marshall Rosenberg and specific examples of how to communicate when difficult feelings are involved.

Improvise - Jump Start Your Day

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

August 12, 2015

Connecting the days

Bringing peace and excitement

Into awareness

Have you noticed that sometimes it is easy to wake up and feel excited about the day and at other times it seems better to just stay in bed?  It’s true that everyday does not have a celebration that we look forward to…….. or is it?  What if we can harness the mind and body right away so that we are clear and looking forward to doing what there is to do this day?  We can!  

STEP 1: Plan to wake up refreshed and ready to go in the morning.  Set up that intention before you sleep by thinking of it after you turn off the light and are just drifting off to sleep.

And then in the morning...........

STEP 2: Be GLAD in the morning.

G            

Show Gratitude –  be grateful for the rest of the night and now being awake and on track with how your body feels  - be grateful that you have control of your feelings  and what you eat on this day – know that whatever happens you will get right back on track - smile

L             

Look forward to the unfolding of this day – plan short pauses for yourself to recharge especially before and during eating anything – you are on track now

A 

Activate the body – yawn, big breaths (longer in than out), stretch and release arms and legs while still in bed - smile

D             

Dance or sing inside your body and let your mind feel the same rhythm – do the same while eating and being active during this day

Improvise

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

July 26, 2015

Things come to my mind

As I swing higher and see

The joy in my life

Yes, it’s time to use the motion of the swing to make it easy to keep the body calm and the mind alert.  With that in place, now we can improvise and consider an entire new swing set.  Imagine a swing held up by birds flying through the air.  They are doing the heavy work and you just enjoy the flight swinging as much as you wish.  You can glide at times and work harder at times depending on the air currents and whatever you wish to pay attention to in the clouds or just seeing the vista below.

Is that appealing?  If there is a different swing set that you wish to build, now is the time to begin.  What wild animal, light, or star enables you to embrace the freedom and power of the swing and your body in the swing?  Take a bit of time to try on different ideas and choose the one that brings the most lightness to your body and mind.

Breathe that image into your body and feel it filling up your body with a sense of comfort. You may close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of moving toward that image.  As you do this notice that two things you have been wanting to do to achieve your weight loss come to mind.  Hold them up to the image one by one and notice that they are light and doable for a week.  At the end of a week you may notice how they worked and continue them or not.  That will be the time to add two more things to your enjoyment of eating in a way that satisfies the senses and allows any emotions to seek other ways of expressing themselves.  Eating for the body is our first task to begin as this allows the subtle signs of hunger and fullness to become more clear.  It may be that you wish to eat more slowly (add 50% more time  - if it took you 10 minutes to eat, then take 15 minutes now) and breathe more consciously.  Being on the swing makes it easy to think about those two behaviors as happening right now and realizing how just thinking of them is the task.  Once you have the thought, seeing yourself 5 pounds lighter on the way to 10 pounds lighter, hearing a friend commenting on how you are losing weight  and feeling really good as you notice how your clothes are loose, you have the power to enjoy the swing.

Keep the end in sight.  Consider eating each meal and how you feel and compare that to how you feel at the end when that is over and you see/feel results.  Yes, it may be just like those who exercise on days when they would rather not but they do it anyway.

Improvise – do things differently to suit where you are right now!  Using the power of the subconscious (emotional mind) offers a way to supercharge your efforts and get the results you seek.

Enjoy your new swing set. Be Light at Last.

Look Beyond The Obvious

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

July 19, 2015

Knowing the future

Keeping the ending in sight

I am light at last

How long does change really take?  Yes, we can think that in order to set a weight loss goal and regime it will take lots of effort and a long time.  And we can also think that with a new paradigm of how to approach this lifelong relationship with food and ourselves it can naturally flow and it doesn’t matter how long it takes as there is no endpoint.

There are people who do not think about food as much as they focus on what is happening in their life that brings joy.  But food does bring me joy, you might say – and that would be true.  However the overweight, lumpy body, feeling bad pattern erodes that joy.  Let’s get rid of that endless loop and tune up the mind to reorganize in a way that leads to what we want.

How do we begin?  Let’s begin by talking about goals.  The idea of SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) is one that we see a lot used a lot for weight loss. And yes, for the logical mind this is a valid way to set and get a goal.  And yet, for the emotional/intuitive mind this approach does not work so well. 

It’s all about using the type of planning process that works for you.  If the logical approach works, great.  If not, consider using a different way of planning to get started and then a hybid approach may be just fine. 

The emotional mind responds to stories, symbols and metaphors.  So, I see you eating out with friends and talking about how much you enjoy your new way of eating.  You are telling them how great you feel and how much energy you have.  Wow, if you had known you would feel this good, you would have done this a long time ago. Five pounds down on the way to ten. You feel light and enjoy a sense of well being in your body and mind. Each time you sit down to eat, you take a deep breath and enjoy the relaxation associated with really enjoying eating with all your senses.

 It was like when you learned to ride a bicycle and using training wheels.  There came a day when you got a bigger bicycle without those wheels. Wow, that was scary and you stayed with those training wheels.  And then one day, you decided to try that other bicycle and you learned to ride it within days.  After that, there was no turning back.

Swinging on the swing, you notice that there are times when you just want to float and do little except notice the sensation of being above the ground in the air supported safely.  Other times, you want to be active and see how high you can go.  Those are the times you pump your legs and move your body as leverage into the movement of the swing.  And then you glide for as long as you wish until the swing stops moving and it’s time to begin again.

Look Beyond the Obvious

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

July 12, 2015

Holding things softly

Strengthens my ability

To caress my life

Try this.

 Hold a pen in one hand and a pencil in the other.  Feel how much they weigh.  Does one weigh more than the other?  (If they feel the same, find another pen or pencil that feels heavier or lighter).  Great!

Now press down tightly on both the pen and the pencil.  Which one feels heavier?  Press harder. Now which one feels heavier?  At this point folks tell me that they can’t tell the difference.  Why?  The action of using strength to press hard makes small distinctions impossible.

Look beyond the obvious

If you are like me, you have read many books and articles about weight loss and dieting.  And many of them have some appealing features and make some sense.  So why do they not work?  I want them to work.

I’m thinking that many of them can work just fine once we are tuned up to use them.  When our sympathetic nervous system is activated (fight or flight) our logical mind is less effective because our emotional mind is engaged.  Small details are not noticed at all.

Just trying to make sense of the contradictory and complex explanations of what is going on takes a lot of attention and focus.  And there we have it! Let’s release that urgency to understand and make something happen response in the body and instead strengthen the rest and digest part of the nervous system.

And now we can enjoy swinging even more as we notice every breath of air and our response to it! 

Imagine being in a swing and getting that push to get started! Be free..... 

Light at Last

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

Look Beyond the Obvious

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

June  28, 2015

Beginning to move

I feel the expectations

Soften and expand

“I am doing what I can and it isn’t working the way I want.”

As I sit on the swing and it begins to move, there is a sense of motion.  It’s not uncontrolled motion although at first my body jerks as it gets used to the movement.  The tenseness (brought about by a sudden sense of the body in space) recedes and pleasure takes all my attention.  It is then I notice the surroundings (the sky, the green, the earth, and the air cooling my skin).  If I want to go higher I move my legs more and I can explore how much control I have over this swing.

Swinging on the swing is so pleasant and any effort just makes it better.

Why can’t my eating be like that?

It can – be light at last and be free.

What is obvious about eating and losing weight?

·         There are many paths to do this that work for some folks.  (And as a corollary there are paths for you among them). 

·         The environment/life style has an impact.  And the good news there is that life styles can shift in ways that enhance growth and creativity.  Don’t forget the impact that marketing has on us – even to try new diets/foods/and approaches.

·         Our thoughts, self talk, beliefs, behaviors, and emotions all make a difference.  Is there a perfect way to approach eating?  I have given up looking for one and believe there is not a perfect way to approach anything and indeed, that wanting results strongly sets up a stress response in the nervous system that turns down our ability to rest, digest, and heal.

Does this seem complex?  It is.  According to Dr Jon Connelly (Founder of Rapid Resolution Therapy) when things are complex they can shift with just a small adjustment (moving one component just an inch). Imagine your computer and how a technical person can move just one component and disable the entire thing.  And yet, we don’t think that the computer will never break down.  In fact, we have plans for when it does. 

I’m thinking that there is a simple way through this maze of complexity and it can be found and applied now. 

Imagine being in a swing and getting that push to get started! Be free…………

  

Light at Last

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

Our stories part two

Our stories part two

Light at Last - a blog about weight loss

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT

June  20, 2015

My story changes

From one of being less than

To a life of joy

Who doesn’t like a good story?  I do, and when that story is about me, I like it even more.  Sharing thoughts and feelings with others is how we connect and as a species we are wired in our brains to do that.  There are so many reasons that we behave normally (based on our species and how the mind/body works) in our relationships to food, body, and weight.  And yet, when the story repeats many times without a change, how does that help?  Perhaps functioning normally is not enough and optimal functioning is better.  A tune up for the mind/body connection would be great.

Yes, each story is unique and worth telling.  Does that telling make a difference?  Some would say yes and others would say no.  Although sharing may over time bring some new thoughts and actions to mind, it may take a long time.  I’m thinking that adding those new thoughts and actions into a person waking up into a life of growth and purpose is what will make a difference.  And then mind, body, and energy work together to create that growth and joy that we can share with others through love.  All this and it doesn’t have to take forever! 

In order to change our stories about weight, food, and body I use a process called LIGHT.

Look beyond the obvious

Improvise

Grow new networks

Hear success

Turn to your heart

Each month I will be talking about one of these parts of the LIGHT system in a way that can get that swing moving right now.

Imagine being in a swing and getting that push to get started!  Be free......

Light at Last

Dorothy Rodwell, LMFT